Career Search #237

When it finally occurred to Q that it was his turn to speak, after listening to the career counselor drone on for what seemed like an eternity, he realized that he had missed his golden opportunity to refute her supercilious jabs, in which he found his ego sliced and diced into a dozen neatly-arranged geometric shapes. The phrase that stuck with him, perhaps the only description that really sunk in and did damage the way hydrochloric acid does to skin, had something to do with his "lack of affect" his annoyingly opaque, inscrutable countenance. The face was a problem. The stiff head attached to rigid neck, shoulders and body. Did he ever smile? Did he ever laugh? It might be one thing to be "in a mood," but at some point you had to put your game face on. Yet another hapless male. She was getting burnt out "helping" people who inexplicably could not or would not receive it. Three hours worth of tests and inventories, plus one cognitive-skills test that Q was unable to finish in the allotted 15 minutes. The counselor, a Ms. Piero, was politely unimpressed by the limited options indicated by the logarithm on the computer screen. This was for her another chance to lift an underachiever up by his boot straps and send him on his way except that her obvious frustration was seeping out through a veil of encouragement. You show very little affect. It is as if you are not responding to stimuli in a timely manner, failing to bring appropriate gestures, smiles, nods, guffaws to a particular interaction. In a typical job setting (with competitive salary mind you) you will need to be more transparent with feelings, more politically attuned to other people and their point of view. Am I reaching you? Are you hearing this? It's hard to tell because of that blank expression on your face. She scribbled a few notes, but mostly was scanning her computer screen in search of a diagnosis. Yes, she said conferring with her laptop, I can see from the answers you've given in the personality inventory. You are a definite follower. I might even say a dangerously impressionable follower-type, with a repressed skeptical side that you feel the need to suppress at all costs. Again puzzled and miffed by Q's quizzical look, she inquired: Is any of this registering with you? Are you following me? Q spoke at last: A follower. Well, I can see that. - You can see that? So you agree then? Yes - I can see that. How you arrived at that... - How I arrived at that... But do you agree Mr. Dennison? I can see that, but what about my job choices, my career path, I'm not sure how - Oh, well that is very complex. There are definitely certain professions I would entirely advise against. For example, I would stop even considering any sort of self-directed job such as doctor, lawyer, engineer, pilot, architect, business owner, CEO,  pro athlete, fashion designer but of course....(laughter) ... you haven't been thinking in this direction, have you? I've boiled it down for you, Mr. Dennison...How to put this. Yes, what is absolutely essential for you is order, structure, routine, repetition, following a firmly established rote protocol - not having to deviate from a set of guidelines. How do you feel about such an arrangement? I mean, given your personality type, this may sound draconian, but it's really quite necessary. - I can see that. - Is that so? Really? You can see that? Well then, assuming that you're not being sarcastic. I can't tell from that hyper-subdued, poker face of yours - I'm going to recommend for you any kind of low level bureaucratic position - possibly a job for some local or state government office. Maybe a clerical position, maybe something at the DMV. Does that sound in line with your...uhm...your....what's the word I'm looking for...your ambition? - Is that really how I appear to you? I can see that. - Yes, Mr. Dennison, you are giving off an aura of inwardness that is really not what today's job market is looking for. - I can see that. - You keep saying that, Mr. Dennison, but are you really sure what I'm trying to tell you. You look like someone who's not really interested in working. You don't wear any kind of enthusiasm on your sleeve. Do you think an employer wants to hire someone who is already "checking out" during the job interview? - Right. I see what you're saying. - You can see that. That's good. So - ah well - our time is up for today. Perhaps we can schedule a follow-up appointment. Would that be alright? - Shall I write you a check for ... The fee for today is $100. Debit cards are fine. How about next Friday at 10:00 a.m. I think we definitely need a follow-up. So...for this coming week, I'd like you to investigate these four employment opportunities and see if any of them appeal to you. Can you handle that? - Sure, said Q.